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barkinmadTitle: In Which Eames Is The Badger, and Arthur Is The Mushroom
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If Nolan had a grave, he'd be rolling in it right about now. (PLEASE DON'T HAVE A GRAVE ANY TIME SOON NOLAN, KTHNX.)
Notes: Written for this prompt at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
inception_kink.
"No, it totally is," Eames said, pulling out a yellow plastic, well, thing.
Ariadne eyes it suspiciously, "Did it have to be so...phallic?"
"What, you would have preferred a hamburger?"
Everyone is quiet.
"Yes, it did," he says finally, and then leaves. Ariadne sighs frustratedly but focuses her attention back to her steampunk aircraft level model shortly after.
Cobb turns to Arthur. "Did you believe him? I didn't believe him."
"I believe him," Arthur says, a mischievous look in his eyes. He didn't need Ariadne to give him phallic ideas.
"But what makes it distinct?" Cobb pursues. "It's just a...a phone. A banana-shaped phone."
Arthur laughs and goes back to work.
- - - - -
"I got them," Eames says first thing when Arthur walks in the door. "I nailed it."
"Yeah, whatever."
"This was your idea, Arthur. I thought you'd be pleased that the world's most preeminent forger also has a killer pokerface."
- - - - -
The tricky part was keeping it up. He had to secretly conceal his old totem in his shoe, but that almost made it easier. He could feel the groove of the poker chip pressed against his sock, grounding him in reality with every step.
In the dreams, he kept the phone tied to his belt loop, for everyone to gawk at. He acted as if he didn't notice.
"Are we sure this is reality?" Eames asks Cobb in front of the team at a restaurant. Dom rolls his eyes, this is the fifteenth time he's heard the joke today. "Let me check," Eames continues. He picks up the device. "Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, this is the banana phone reality hotline. Wake up, Cobb!" His hands are flying all over in front of Cobb's face. "WAAAAAKE UUUUUUP!"
His wake-up call lands him a reality check.
- - - - -
"Is that your totem, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Fuck off, Ariadne."
- - - - -
"How long do I have to keep this up?" Eames asks Arthur. The man is intently busy with the meticulous job of nuzzling his face into the side of Eames' neck so the reply is muffled. "What, love?"
"Forever," Arthur says, drawing fresh breath.
"I'm already out of jokes," Eames says, giving a disdainful glance at his fauxtem, wishing it would spontaneously burst into flames.
"Too bad. I guess you'll have to do without anal insertion for the rest of your life."
The banana phone stays.
- - - - -
They're on the job and two levels deep. Apparently Yusuf has no concept of proper hygiene because the entire last level smelled of red vines and Cheetos.
"Can't that man purchase a bottle of Old Spice?" Eames asks, unplugging his nose.
"I bought that company, back in the day," is Saito's response.
No one blinks an eye.
"We have to do this quickly," Cobb informs, as if no one else is all too aware of the the circumstances. "Ariadne, where did you put the security hatch?"
Ariadne points to a silver box hanging outside an stately wooden door. Cobb opens it up. In it is a scanner, but instead of a number code there's a a pressure-sensitive engraving.
Eames quirks his eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding me."
"You can change it a bit if it's not exactly the right size," Ariadne says helpfully.
Eames reaches for his belt loop. The banana phone is still dangling there, he'd almost completely forgotten about it. He unhooks the carabiner and fits the phone into the indent. Then he removes the cover.
"What's the code?"
"1-800-EAMES," Ariadne is practically giggling openly. Cobb does not look amused.
They get into the bank vault and steal the information, but all Eames want to do is "accidentally" shoot Ariadne in the knee and then give her a pity strangle with the phone cord. Instead he has to continue with the bloody job.
- - - - -
It's been seven months, two weeks and four days since Eames lost a stupid idiotic bet with Arthur. There is a mark on his foot even when his real totem isn't there. It's probably permanent. And no matter how many foot massages from Arthur that he gets for it, it will never be okay. Well, almost never.
"You know I'm the laughing stock of this whole operation now."
Arthur laughed from the kitchen table. "And you're blaming the phone for that?"
"I blame everyone but me," Eames said matter-of-factly, dividing his salad into two bowls. It was measly, but it was remarkably better than last weeks, which had somehow managed to start a small fire.
"I guess you could stop now, no one even brings it up any more. Not after Cobb caught Ariadne making a model level in its shape." He took his bowl and prodded one of the leaves with his fork.
"That place would have been awesome."
"Aren't you going to miss it?" Arthur said, with a smirk on his face.
"No!"
- - - - -
"Well, okay. Yes."
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If Nolan had a grave, he'd be rolling in it right about now. (PLEASE DON'T HAVE A GRAVE ANY TIME SOON NOLAN, KTHNX.)
Notes: Written for this prompt at
inception_kink."No, it totally is," Eames said, pulling out a yellow plastic, well, thing.
Ariadne eyes it suspiciously, "Did it have to be so...phallic?"
"What, you would have preferred a hamburger?"
Everyone is quiet.
"Yes, it did," he says finally, and then leaves. Ariadne sighs frustratedly but focuses her attention back to her steampunk aircraft level model shortly after.
Cobb turns to Arthur. "Did you believe him? I didn't believe him."
"I believe him," Arthur says, a mischievous look in his eyes. He didn't need Ariadne to give him phallic ideas.
"But what makes it distinct?" Cobb pursues. "It's just a...a phone. A banana-shaped phone."
Arthur laughs and goes back to work.
- - - - -
"I got them," Eames says first thing when Arthur walks in the door. "I nailed it."
"Yeah, whatever."
"This was your idea, Arthur. I thought you'd be pleased that the world's most preeminent forger also has a killer pokerface."
- - - - -
The tricky part was keeping it up. He had to secretly conceal his old totem in his shoe, but that almost made it easier. He could feel the groove of the poker chip pressed against his sock, grounding him in reality with every step.
In the dreams, he kept the phone tied to his belt loop, for everyone to gawk at. He acted as if he didn't notice.
"Are we sure this is reality?" Eames asks Cobb in front of the team at a restaurant. Dom rolls his eyes, this is the fifteenth time he's heard the joke today. "Let me check," Eames continues. He picks up the device. "Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, this is the banana phone reality hotline. Wake up, Cobb!" His hands are flying all over in front of Cobb's face. "WAAAAAKE UUUUUUP!"
His wake-up call lands him a reality check.
- - - - -
"Is that your totem, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Fuck off, Ariadne."
- - - - -
"How long do I have to keep this up?" Eames asks Arthur. The man is intently busy with the meticulous job of nuzzling his face into the side of Eames' neck so the reply is muffled. "What, love?"
"Forever," Arthur says, drawing fresh breath.
"I'm already out of jokes," Eames says, giving a disdainful glance at his fauxtem, wishing it would spontaneously burst into flames.
"Too bad. I guess you'll have to do without anal insertion for the rest of your life."
The banana phone stays.
- - - - -
They're on the job and two levels deep. Apparently Yusuf has no concept of proper hygiene because the entire last level smelled of red vines and Cheetos.
"Can't that man purchase a bottle of Old Spice?" Eames asks, unplugging his nose.
"I bought that company, back in the day," is Saito's response.
No one blinks an eye.
"We have to do this quickly," Cobb informs, as if no one else is all too aware of the the circumstances. "Ariadne, where did you put the security hatch?"
Ariadne points to a silver box hanging outside an stately wooden door. Cobb opens it up. In it is a scanner, but instead of a number code there's a a pressure-sensitive engraving.
Eames quirks his eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding me."
"You can change it a bit if it's not exactly the right size," Ariadne says helpfully.
Eames reaches for his belt loop. The banana phone is still dangling there, he'd almost completely forgotten about it. He unhooks the carabiner and fits the phone into the indent. Then he removes the cover.
"What's the code?"
"1-800-EAMES," Ariadne is practically giggling openly. Cobb does not look amused.
They get into the bank vault and steal the information, but all Eames want to do is "accidentally" shoot Ariadne in the knee and then give her a pity strangle with the phone cord. Instead he has to continue with the bloody job.
- - - - -
It's been seven months, two weeks and four days since Eames lost a stupid idiotic bet with Arthur. There is a mark on his foot even when his real totem isn't there. It's probably permanent. And no matter how many foot massages from Arthur that he gets for it, it will never be okay. Well, almost never.
"You know I'm the laughing stock of this whole operation now."
Arthur laughed from the kitchen table. "And you're blaming the phone for that?"
"I blame everyone but me," Eames said matter-of-factly, dividing his salad into two bowls. It was measly, but it was remarkably better than last weeks, which had somehow managed to start a small fire.
"I guess you could stop now, no one even brings it up any more. Not after Cobb caught Ariadne making a model level in its shape." He took his bowl and prodded one of the leaves with his fork.
"That place would have been awesome."
"Aren't you going to miss it?" Arthur said, with a smirk on his face.
"No!"
- - - - -
"Well, okay. Yes."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 07:05 am (UTC)I have a friend who used to sing it every day and we wanted to shoot her in the knee. Good story, I like that the others tease him about it XD
On a related note,
Joseph Gordon-Levitt in an vexingly verbose, vibrant short film in which he is on a steampunk airship. That's also a zoo. And a battles Channing Tatum in order to win the affections of a girl.
http://www.hitrecord.org/records/65444
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 07:09 am (UTC)Thank you!
I've seen it! I've actually been a member of HitRECord for...a while. But never really contributed anything substantial. I had no idea that was Channing Tatum though!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 07:28 am (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpHQLKK_qQ0&feature=related
This is the same group who made the JGL-Zooey Deschanel Sid and Nancy video (which is GLORIOUS)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln29hZ9hhZ0
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 07:33 am (UTC)Also, I cried when I watched that Sid and Nancy video for the first time. It was just SO HILARIOUS.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 05:35 pm (UTC)KURT'S FABULOUSNESS AGREES.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 12:52 pm (UTC)WTF?????
::dies laughing::
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 05:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 01:57 pm (UTC)and
"Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, this is the banana phone reality hotline. Wake up, Cobb!" His hands are flying all over in front of Cobb's face. "WAAAAAKE UUUUUUP!"
I DIED
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 05:38 pm (UTC)HAHAHA THANK YOU!
Do you need CPR?no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 06:54 pm (UTC)I'd like Eames to defibrillate me if you know what I meanno subject
Date: 2010-08-05 04:52 pm (UTC)SAITO
OLD SPICE
I THINK YOU WIN HERE
no subject
Date: 2010-08-05 05:38 pm (UTC)Also, your icon is ace.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-14 07:11 pm (UTC)ETA: fauxtem HA!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-14 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-20 04:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-20 07:15 pm (UTC)