oh aye

Oh man, I have to find a new mood theme. This'll take hours.

My LJ theme was JGL but because I'm considering even updating my icons (from...around 2013 I wanna say?) I think I can find something fun and fitting.

Merlin would be fun.

Edit: Apparently I'm not rich enough to have a custom mood theme.

I missed something today. Something huge. I am rarely, if ever, serious on this journal. Hell, I'm rarely anything on this journal or serious in real life. But this is just too big an issue, too upsetting to ignore or not discuss.

This story was posted on the spn_j2_bigbang today.

Okay. So.

The author has issued a public apology. There have been many comments and discussions both in the threads for the story and the SPN anonmeme and on countless journals, as I can imagine. This was brought to my attention by faunaana who stated her opinion very intelligently and gracefully. Most major points have been gathered in this post while fic quotes have been copied and pasted here. It's a lot to go through, and I admit, I didn't make it all the way through myself (it's late and I've had a long day), but I think some very interesting perspectives are brought up about exactly why this is story is as offensive as it is.

Is it:
a) the exploitation of a country and its people who are deep in suffering and mourning to facilitate gay sex between two fictionalized versions of real people?
b) the propagation of racist stereotypes that pervade the media?
c) the author's ignorance and "I didn't mean to offend!" intent not being enough to excuse the fact that she did, in fact, offend? Greatly? Or is it
d) all of the above.

I'm going with D. This is all wrong. It's all just too fucking wrong. I am pretty much in deep shock at this. I must be having a reaction, because I'm writing about it, but I don't actually feel anything. Whatever, enough about me. I'm missing the point.

Of the quotes I did read, this one stuck out at me:

- Abraham watched the cab turn into traffic, then turned to grin at Jared. “Jensen say I bad driver,” he said. “But American drivers crazy.”

Jared laughed. “He wasn’t American, Abraham,” he said, grinning back.

Probably not the least offensive comment out there, admittedly. The author did much worse work. But this stuck out at me because I hadn't seen it covered in discussion yet, and I wanted to take some time to do so. I want all the bases covered.

What exactly makes her think that someone who was not born in American isn't American?
This is obviously a different issue than the majority of what's being discussed. Perhaps I'm misreading the quote. But the fact that Jared simply assumes that since a person of any color other than white is driving a taxi, they must not be a citizen, they must not live here, they must not belong here. What the actual fuck? My rage is just so intense right now. As soon as someone says to me "I am American" that is their nationality. I don't care if they have their license, or a green card, or any legal permission to belong in this country. If they identify as one of us, they are one of us. It's as simple as that. Of course, this applies to any country of your choice, I'm simply describing the problem as it is written in the story. Maybe the driver wasn't American. Maybe he hated this country, couldn't wait to get out, or maybe he was planning on strapping a bomb under his car seat and making his way toward Times Square. But there is NO. WAY. that anyone has a right to assume something about someone's identity or character or nationality from a five second blip while they drive into traffic. It's just. It's too inexcusable for words.

Why are all people who aren't American inherently bad drivers?
This is more about the propagation of stereotypes. Both the black man and the man in the cab can't drive? And white people can freely make jokes about it? And this is...why? It's pretty clear what the answer to this is, but I really don't think that the question is asked often enough. Maybe if the author took a second to sit back and think for a second, or one of her beta's was curious or brave enough to ask questions they might not have liked the answer to, fandom wouldn't be in this situation. Why does no one ask questions? What's wrong with being devil's advocate? Groupthink is the opposite of what we want, and you'd think that in a nation that prides itself on individuality we would be more willing to respectfully disagree with each other out in the open. It would be the writer's personal problem, and that's that. But now it isn't. Now fandom deals with this, and discusses it (as it should be discussed - it's not a burden, but an opportunity), and comes up with all the reasons why this story is wrong. Because there are SO many reasons. So fucking many.

I'm aware I'm leaning heavily on pathos here because, surprise surprise, research, facts, and reasoning are not my strong points. But this is something that I feel, that I think now needs to be addressed in fandom that will hopefully reflect in our real lives as well. I didn't really talk about the true issue, I know. Admittedly, I'm skirting the issue instead of facing it head on because I'm currently too angry, and feel like I know too little about the situation. It's late, and I will hopefully take tomorrow to educate myself. There are millions of different opinions, ranging across the board, and there are always varying degrees of right and wrong (in this case, the writer happens to be VERY wrong). I hope people read this, I really do, I hope people read this and see what's happening and do something about it, but this isn't about what I want. It's about the story and pictures that got posted and what fandom is going to do about it in response. It's about the writer who needs to learn that not every idea is a good idea, and not everything in books, movies, television and radio is true.

P.S. Someone on the anon meme pointed out that they don't care whether the privileged white writer grows in self-discovery and gets closer enlightenment, just like the characters in her story. But I really don't see the point in just shutting someone up because you can't deal with racism in your fandom. If you don't want racism in fandom, you have to have a fandom without racist people. If they decide to be quiet, that doesn't make them any less racist, it just makes them silent racists, and that's not any better at all. I agree that not everything has to be about the white man learning about himself and becoming a truer person yadda yadda yadda, but we need to discuss these things, and we need to figure out why someone believes and thinks the way they do. That way, we can fight/correct/do something about it. We're not going to get that if we simply kick them out of fandom. Okay. I've said my piece. Goodnight.

I just redid my layout and it's AMAZING! I love it so much because it's pink, and dotty, and very me. I am very happy, and therefore grateful to thefulcrum.

Speaking of layouts made from thefulcrum (DYCWIDT?) I have a new comm! Yaaaaay! lookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongs
lookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongs
lookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongslookbacksongs
Go! Join! Participate! I really, really want this comm to do well so please pimp it out to all your friends! Mostly so I can get my Gigi soundtrack Because I believe that everyone either has an interest in old music or would if they had access to it. Or not, whatever, but PLEASE JOIN, OKAY?! Okay.

I know I have yet to give my opinion on anything I've seen in the last week (Harry Potter and 500 Days of Summer). I do have photos and such and some video, but I don't want to put any other video on YouTube aside from this one:



Um anything else you cool cats want to know about? I decided that I'm not going to "500 Days of Summer" again tonight not because I don't want to but because this is one of my last chances to eat some delicious Thai food from one of my favorite restaurants. And then we'll probably watch Annie Hall or something else that I found on VHS last night. There are LOTS of good movies that I have on VHS but don't have on DVD.

I need to write fic or something. I wrote a little original drabble and will probably post it at sitrow but I'm not 100% happy with it since I feel like it's covered ground. Maybe my Intro. to Creative Writing class next semester will help me get my gears turning again. Or...IDK what will happen.

Alright, so in the spirit of my Summer Cleaning-ness, I did a small friends cut. I felt like it was becoming a chore to read my flish and I really want to get to know people better instead of just flitting around all the time. This way I can keep my small community feel. If you don't think you would've been cut, you probably weren't, and if you think that we should give it another try, leave a comment and I'll be happy to add you back.

Now I'm going to bed because I'm sitting in a dark kitchen with my back to huge windows and doors.

I hope I did the right things buying some of my books at half.com. They don't get shipped until the 22nd (two days after classes start) and how do I know I wouldn't be able to get a better deal at my bookstore? I mean, I checked against the prices online, and only bought the ones that were cheaper (some of them online actually turned out to be more expensive with shipping prices) but I'm still not sure. I don't want to waste more money though, I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately. Hopefully when I get back to college there'll be a couple of receipts in the mail. I also want to sell my books, but they're all back in my dorm.

So! Today I got my ten-year diary. And yes, okay, I admit I stole the idea from hobbit_eyes, but it just seemed so romantic, and it's really, truly awesome. The first row is for 2008, so I'm either going to go back in my LJ and fill up what I can, or create a whole magical year of my life. I also caught up on the Office, went to an art supply store, out for dinner and watched Accepted and Moulin Rouge. However, because I'm stupid, I missed the new episode of Supernatural. Very, very lame.

You may notice that I've deleted all my previous Twitter posts, and have discontinued them for the future. I figure I don't want to clog up my front page, and your flists, by things that I can read on twitter itself. But for my friends out there who have it, and haven't already friended me, my name is fuzzywuzzyjr. I still update quite frequently.

Tomorrow I pack for school, and then I'm off on Saturday. I could complain about how I accomplished nothing since I got home from NYC (since I just finished doing that somewhere else), because I haven't read, taken notes on or written anything, but I'll probably (hopefully) do some of that tomorrow (or what's left of it after I wake up) or, you know, just pack.

Hopefully I can keep doing these semi-regular updates once I return to school. I would love to make time for you guys, I swear.

Contemplating joining sncross_bigbang. But what would my story be, and what would I cross it over with?

....HIMYM?

OKAY, SO I COMPLETELY STOLE THIS CHART OFF OF icymorning BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO HELP US A LOT.

( LET'S DO THE TIME CHART AGAIN... )


[Poll #1223626]


ALSO, IF YOU WANT TO PARTICIPATE, IT'S GOING TO BE ON AIM. JUST GIVE ME YOUR USERNAME AND I'LL ADD YOU (I CAN SCREEN THE COMMENTS, BUT LOL OTHER PEOPLE ARE GONNA KNOW IT ONCE YOU JOIN THE ORGY).

Hey, so I haven't really felt it or anything, but I just wanted to make sure that everyone involved new that my most recent non-J11 post was COMPLETELY FAKE. It was a fake!wank that sprung up because I had a lulzy idea in the rules thread, and I was told to go with it. Everyone else who made posts regarding it are totally joking too, so there's nothing to worry about. So yeah, totally not intended to offend anyone or make them feel uncomfortable. I REALLY DON'T HATE THE COMM, I SWEAR. I'm sorry if anyone took it really seriously. I was trying to at least sound serious just so it could've seemed like it was real.

Plus, the hedgehogs have cured me.

This Random Journal thing is FUN.





And a lot of people are Russian.

I wrote three History essays today, so come cheer me up!

i love you. i want you. right now: the love meme